Re: Fw[2]: Heteronyms... this is brilliant

David Martin <davemrtn@...>

Isn't the english language fun !!!

While in California once (in the Hollywood area) I was entertained by watching an oriental and an Italian try to communicate using broken english....

Hey, I noticed the reminder at the bottom of your posting and I feel it necessary to say the next OzarkCon will be coming /_*UP*_/ on April 10-11, 2015.

On 05/11/2014 03:41 PM, 'Jim's Desktop' @W0EB [4sqrp] wrote:

*I wish to add another hemograph to this. “_THEY’RE_ taking a package to _THEIR_ car over _THERE_”. It is apparent from the ignorant writing I read on the computer that schools no longer teach children the meanings of those three words. Lee


*Heteronyms... this is brilliant*

*Hemographs are words of like spelling but with more than
one meaning.*

*A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a



1) The bandage was *_wound _*around the *_wound._*

2) The farm was used to *_produce produce_*.

3) The dump was so full that it had to *_refuse _*more

4) We must *_polish _*the *_Polish _*furniture..

5) He could *_lead _*if he would get the *_lead _*out.

6) The soldier decided to *_desert _*his dessert in the

7) Since there is no time like the *_present_*, he
thought it was time to *_present _*the *_present_.*

8) A *_bass _*was painted on the head of the *_bass _*drum.

9) When shot at, the *_dove dove _*into the bushes.

10) I did not *_object _*to the *_object._*

11) The insurance was *_invalid _*for the *_invalid._*

12) There was a *_row _*among the oarsmen about how to

13) They were too *_close _*to the door to *_close _*it.

14) The buck *_does _*funny things when the *_does _*are

15) A seamstress and a *_sewer _*fell down into a *_sewer

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his *_sow
_*to *_sow._*

17) The *_wind _*was too strong for me to *_wind _*the sail.

18) Upon seeing the *_tear _*in the painting I shed a

19) I had to *_subject _*the *_subject _*to a series of

20) How can I *_intimate _*this to my most *_intimate

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no
egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in
England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are
candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its
paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing
rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea
nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural
of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2
indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends
but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a
vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what
language do people recite at a play and play at a
recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses
that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while
a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to
marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in
a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off
by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it
reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of
course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars
are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out,
they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?

*You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.*

*There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more
meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is *_'UP.'_

*It's easy to understand *_UP_, meaning toward the sky or
at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the
morning, why do we wake _UP_?

At a meeting, why does a topic come _UP_?

Why do we speak _UP _and why are the officers _UP _for
election and why is it _UP _to the secretary to write_UP
_a report?

We call _UP _our friends.

And we use it to brighten _UP _a room, polish _UP _the
silver; we warm _UP _the leftovers and clean _UP _the

We lock _UP _the house and some guys fix _UP _the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

People stir _UP _trouble, line _UP _for tickets, work _UP
_an appetite, and think _UP_excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed _UP_is special.

A drain must be opened _UP _because it is stopped _UP_.

We open _UP _a store in the morning but we close it _UP
_at night.

*We seem to be pretty mixed *_UP _*about *_UP_!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of _UP_, look
the word _UP _in the dictionary.

In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes _UP _almost 1/4th of
the page and can add _UP _to about thirty definitions.

If you are _UP _to it, you might try building _UP _a list
of the many ways _UP _is used.

It will take _UP _a lot of your time, but if you don't
give _UP_, you may wind _UP _with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding _UP_.

When the sun comes out we say it is clearing _UP_.

*When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things

*When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry *_UP_.

*One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it *_UP_,

for now my time is _UP_, is time to shut _UP_!

Now it's _UP _to you what you do with this email.
*David Martin - K5DCM ---o0o---
Mountain Home, Arkansas*
Guns don't kill people, any more than spoons & forks cause obesity.

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